If you only do ONE thing**

Most of the stuff I want to say about decluttering and getting your life in order is optional. You can take what works for you, try some things out, let the ideas roll around in your mind. Not at all of it will apply to your life or fit your specific scenario.

This particular post is mandatory and applies to everyone. E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e.

I can't speak for other cultures, but it seems Americans are very uncomfortable with death- talking about death, dealing with death, and preparing to die gives us the willies.

I have tough news for you- you're gonna die someday.

Why is the decluttering lady yapping about this?

I'm glad you asked! Having your affairs in order is very closely related to- and overlaps with- how big of a mess your life is.

For those of you who don't know me personally, my dad died almost five years ago. I was lucky enough to spend the last couple weeks of his life with him near me, but his home was over a thousand miles from mine and he was not ‘ready’ to die. I'm not speaking ill of him, because I completely, absolutely adored my dad. He was an AMAZING person, but he accidentally left me with a figurative and literal mess to clean up.

His affairs were not in order and he was a lifelong packrat. That meant that after he died, I flew to his house, dug through his stuff and looked for the “important things”. I had seven days there and I also needed to have a memorial service and clean/prep his home for sale-all while dealing with fresh and painful grief.

Please do not do this to your loved ones.

The absolute bare minimum you should have in place as an adult human over 18 years old:

-A trusted person as co-owner of your bank accounts.

-Official (notarized) documents for financial power of attorney and medical power of attorney. These are valid while you are alive and allow someone to make decisions if you can't make them for yourself. They don't apply after you pass.

-An organized (AND EASY-TO-LOCATE) file with information,usernames, and passwords on all your accounts: Bank accounts, insurance policy documents, credit cards, services and subscriptions. (Ideally this should be kept in a water and fire proof safe.)

-Make your final wishes known. Let your loved ones know if you want to be cremated or buried and what you'd like for services. If you have valuables and you think your loved ones will follow your wishes, you can make a list of what should go to whom.

Ideally these final wishes should be written in a legal document called a will, but at the very least please let the people who care about you KNOW your preferences.

If you have dependents under the age of 18 this organization and preparation is even more important.

Additionally- the very kind thing to do is to not leave your loved ones with a giant physical mess to clean up. Digging through boxes of junk mail and flyers to find actual important documents= not the most fun. Cleaning out homes packed to the ceiling with ‘treasures’= a nightmare multiplied by grief.

You can talk to your loved ones about which, if any items, they'd like. If they tell you they don't really need more stuff, please believe them and don't let it hurt your feelings.

Stuff does not equal love. Say it with me: STUFF DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE.

"Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff" by Matt Paxton is great book for going through your stuff.

“The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" by Margareta Magnusson is also amazing and a quick read.

**I'm not an attorney. I'm just a lady who has been through it and learned some stuff. Please don't confuse this with legal advice.